Yeah, sure, we saw Valparaiso and got the vineyard tour we signed up for. But that doesn’t begin to capture the day. Let’s start with our tour guide, Daniel.

Daniel is 21 years old and learned English playing English-language video games. His folks sent him to a semi-private English school so today he speaks pretty fair English, good enough to communicate and explain the sights and landmarks we saw today. He’s probably not ready to sign up as a top-tier guide with Overseas Adventure Travel but that’s OK. He’s actually starting his third year this March as an electrical engineering student. His dream is to start a firm with a friend when they graduate. Fact is, this was his very first ever gig as a tour guide. Most of the things he saw with us he’d never seen before.

Did this bother us? Not in the least. It worked because first of all he’s a delightful young man with a great, easy-going, friendly demeanor. I especially enjoyed talking with him about engineering, telling him where my EE degree took me, and the kinds of things he might do with his. He said that he found the math, especially calculus, especially difficult. I told him, “Don’t worry, you’ll never have to use it in the real world. To become a good engineer you have to suffer. Calculus is taught so that you suffer.”

Secondly, he really wasn’t the guide; Luis, our driver, was. Daniel served as the interpreter for us gringos. Luis, a former motorcycle cop, makes this trip almost every day. He knows every kiosk vendor, parking lot attendant and venue manager between Santiago and Valparaiso. He, too, has a great sense of humor, is very knowledgeable and even tolerated my feeble attempts at speaking the lingo.

As we passed through on our way to Valparaiso, Luis told us the story of Renca, Chile and its colorful lady mayor whose name escaped me. She wanted to improve her impoverished town and so had installed on a hill a sign that said, “Renca la Lleva”, which roughly translates to “Renca Rocks.” (Lleva, I believe, means among other things “is ahead”) She built and renovated public swimming pools to give the citizens something to do on hot summer days. She climbed to the high board to jump off and inaugurate the first pool. Unfortunately she slipped, fell and badly injured her nose. While in the hospital getting it fixed she received a certain anatomical augmentation, which, in the interest in keeping this blog at the G level, we won’t discuss further. Another time she hired a Santa Clause to descend on a ladder from a helicopter. He tripped; his foot got caught on the ladder. As he dangled upside down his presents fell from his bag to the ground. The people loved her. She won reelection every time.

That story led Daniel to talk about how hot it gets in summertime. “It gets so hot you have to sleep naked and ask Santa to bring you a fan.” OK, maybe a PG rating then.

Daniel needlessly pointed out that Chileans have a great sense of humor and love a good laugh.

On the way to Valparaiso Luis brought us to a . . . I was going to say restaurant but really it was a most unassuming open air establishment with wood-fired ovens serving what he claimed are the best empanadas in Chile. This was my third lifetime empenada, so I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t challenge his claim. We had the Pino, like yesterday (Daniel wasn’t sure what the mystery meat in a Pino is), and a shrimp with cheese version that was described best of class by Sharon and Judy. Sam, our Austrailian friend from last night, and her friends, on the same path to Valparaiso, stopped in too (I’ve included the picture of her with us from last night).

Luis took us to a wine shop. “Best prices in Chile.” Four bottles. Packing challenge to be dealt with later. ‘Nuff said.

Valparaiso is a port city, the biggest (only?) one in Chile. The first commercial maritime operation commenced in the early 1800s. Until that time Chile was quite isolated from the outside world (Spanish conquistadors not included). The city strives to retain its old character; no building built prior to 1910 can be demolished. 

Luis led us to the ultimate tourist trap. “Guaranteed seven years of good luck if the three of you lift the head of this statue. I’ll take your picture. Uno, dos, tres . . . “ You can, if you’re over the age of 18, see the results in today’s pictures. We’re heading for an R rating with this one, I’m afraid.

Valparaiso is built on the side of a hill, mountain really. The roads are steep (move over, San Francisco). Cable cars run up and down the hill (50 cents each way) to facilitate movement. The really surprising thing about Valparaiso is the wonderful, imaginative artwork that decorates many buildings – private homes, restaurants, office buildings, you name it. There is plenty of graffiti too, some of which is equally artistic, some true graffiti that mars the artistic works.

Leaving Valparaiso we went through the seaside town of Vina (tilde over the n, please) del Mar. It has three features: first a pretty floral clock. Picture please. Second, Daniel said, “Surely you’ve heard of the Vina del Mar music festival. All the big music stars come and it’s broadcast all around the world.” Blank stares. “Never heard of it.” Then again, we’re 60+; what can you expect from the out-of-touch elderly?

I quickly googled for the music festival and discovered, instead, a different reference to the town from the history books. This is where the military generals met to plot the coup that led to the overthrow and death of Salvador Allende, the constitutionally elected Marxist president. The CIA, you may recall, conducted covert operations in support of the coup.

This was news to Daniel. He said, “That’s a very touchy subject with many Chileans even today. There are many staunch supporters of Pinochet who think he should not have been deposed.” I plan to question the other Luis, our OAT guide who comes from Chile and who we will meet day after tomorrow in Buenos Aires.

Next, the Casas del Bosque (“houses in the woods”) vineyard. It’s considered a small boutique winery because it produces only 1.6 million bottles every year. An Italian family started it in the mid 1990s. They grew stock from seed and produced their first product in 1998. The tour was great, the facilities interesting, the setting beautiful. Sam and her two horseback riding friends joined us for the tour. The most miraculous thing was that we escaped with nary a bottle of wine to pack/drink on our way to Buenos Aires.

OK, time to kick back and let Luis drive us home. Luis told us that most tourists nap on the way back. But not us. Judy wanted the guys to tell her what Chilean music she could use in her video productions. Did we get an earful? Luis and Daniel made like Dick Clark and punched up song after song on Luis’s iPhone. I shazammed them as they played so now we have a complete ten-song playlist of really great music. My favorite? A rapish rendition of “Me Gusta el Vino” by Tinto Fernandez.

We were pretty full, foodwise and wine wise, and tired so Judy and Sharon warmed up their leftovers from last night. They graciously went down to the empanada store next door and brought me back a Pino and a double strawberry helado cone so I could peck away at this overly long epistle.